republican's how to on oppressing blacks getting bush elected...

posted 10/27/2004 14:21:24 by matt flesch-kincaid: 3, grade level: 23 commentscomments(0) linklink
as the new york times reports: "Acorn, a nonprofit group that conducted voter registration in poor neighborhoods, asserts that 46 percent of the Republican challenges in Cuyahoga County, which includes Cleveland, were against black people, who represent only 27 percent of the county's population."

wal-mart now selling dead hawaiians...at low low prices

posted 10/25/2004 20:08:41 by matt flesch-kincaid: 24, grade level: 17 commentscomments(0) linklink
wal-mart decided that it would continue building the largest wal-mart in the world in hawaii even after unearthing 44 sets of ancient hawaiian remains at the site.
"a wal-mart store manager said, the store offers 'quality merchandise, low prices, and wal-mart's spirit of aloha.' aloha of course a hawaiian word meaning : hello, goodbye, and f*ck you and your dead ancestors" -jon stewart

i need to watch more tv...

posted 10/20/2004 00:47:34 by matt flesch-kincaid: 66, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink
bri sent me this, god bud's marketing is killer, it almost made me want to drink beer....almost:
Real Men of Genius:
Today we salute you, Mr. Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold, back of the neck. Sure, your Pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not to the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar.
Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world where its okay for a man to go tanning. You ask "why can't we wear make-up, and use shampoo with lavender essence?" (Where is my lipstick?)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one... in your man purse.

dear senator dayton,

posted 10/14/2004 12:27:14 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
"I have been reading about your decision to close your D.C. office till after the election. I just wanted to congratulate you on finally finding an effective way to combat terrorism. I too have seen ostriches sticking their head in the sand as a way to hide from problems, and I think it's wonderful that you've applied this to the terrorist problem. I plan to join you in your fight, by hiding under my bed until after the election. I understand that you're not in session till after the election, and that you say you're acting to ensure the safety of your office employees, but you're sending the completely wrong message. Maybe you should try sending the right message, by manning your D.C. office through election day by yourself, to show the terrorists that we won't roll over and hide under the bed." you too can tell him how you feel about his plans to fight terror. if you do send him something, post it in the comments.

politicos

posted 10/12/2004 22:35:26 by matt flesch-kincaid: 53, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so there's this genius senator, who has decided to closed his d.c. office till after the election because of the terrorist threat. it's good to see we've perfected the stick your head in the sand defense. in other news, bush has managed to sink even lower into the mudslinging as the sinclair broadcasting group, announces that they are forcing their tv stations to air an anti-kerry movie, without commercials, a mere 2 weeks before the election. oh and by the way, sinclair is the same company that refused to let it's stations air the nightline where the names of all the soldiers killed in iraq were announced. you can go here to complain to the fcc about sinclair's actions. i guess there's one upside to this: he's afraid, very afraid.

hard time?

posted 10/11/2004 12:26:16 by matt flesch-kincaid: 56, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
so as you all know, martha stewart will be serving 5 months in prison for her part in an insider trading debacle. also this week, jamal lewis plead out on a charge that he facilitated a cocaine deal via cell phone with a government informant, and as part of the deal, he will serve 4 months in prison. oh, and a little footnote on the deal, that's 4 months in the offseason, cause you know, we wouldn't want to inconvience the sports superstar any more than we already have will enforcing federal drug statutes. now i'm not sure exactly how much cocaine jamal lewis was brokering a deal for, but through extensive research i'm going to assume it had a street value of approx. a "shitload." martha stewart, on the other hand, just acted to keep herself from losing money, and that's not to say she did nothing wrong. i mean for all i know martha could be packing heat, blasting caps in those frontin' martha wanna-be's, but you'd think that would make the news. so kids, the moral of the story is "sell drugs, not stocks."