i'm certainly not a stoner, and i resent be called a slacker...

posted 09/28/2004 20:31:39 by matt flesch-kincaid: 58, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
it's king of the slackers to you damn it! bill o'reilly, fox news' resident conservative, said to jon stewart when talking about the daily show, "you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote."(transcript) i hate to break it to you billy boy, but jon stewart has contributed more to the field of journalism than you ever will. let's recap shall we, the daily show has won 7 emmys in the past 3 years, and you billy boy, oh right there was some back when you were a really reporter like 10-15 years ago, but that was just 2, so you're like 5 behind the daily show, and you've had like 20 years, and it took them, well, 3. you just keep striving there billy, as long as fox news continues it's tradition of fair, balanced, and horribly right slanted news coverage you're assured of having a job. and if that ever falls through, you could probably make money by letting people bet on how far you can get your head up your ass. hopefully the whole republican party is writing off all 18-25 year olds as stoner slackers, cause that'll give em a hell of a suprise come november.

go packers...

posted 09/28/2004 20:12:20 by matt flesch-kincaid: 48, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
From Joe: The outcome of the Washington Redskins' last home game before the election has been a flawless indicator of who would win the presidential race. For the past 15 elections, if the Redskins won so did the incumbent party. True to form, in 2000 the Tennessee Titans beat the Redskins 27-21 and, lo and behold, Bush won. The last Redskins home game before November 2nd is against the Green Bay Packers"

election time, when the bs grows more transparent by the day

posted 09/24/2004 15:06:30 by matt flesch-kincaid: 45, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
so there's this certifiably insane guy named alan keyes who was recruited by the republicans to move from maryland to illinois to take on obama. he recently started venting about how polls are horrible and should be banned before elections. i wonder if he had read the most recent poll before starting this rant, you know the one that placed him at a 40% disadvantage to his opponent, 68% to 23% in the senate race. in a way i'm glad keyes is running, as crazy people make for good tv. it's just too bad that new yorkers were too dumb to see the whole "carpetbagger" thing when hillary cruised into town a few months before election time.

florida as a smoking hole in the ground...

posted 09/24/2004 10:16:05 by matt flesch-kincaid: 59, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so three hurricanes in 5 or 6 weeks + a map of the 2000 election = fun. this is rather interesting even without the whole god spin that gets put on it. animals can sense fear, maybe hurricanes can sense stupidity, then again, they haven't found him here yet, have they?

you know you're up too late when...

posted 09/17/2004 01:26:47 by matt flesch-kincaid: 63, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
the ad for this piece of shit comes on the tv... and just in case you aren't sold immediately, you can get a limited edition glossy photo of regis. and in case you're in need of a regis singing fix RIGHT NOW, rush shipping is available...cause why would you want to wait to wait to be driven to the brink of insanity.

i'm not sure which is more depressing

posted 09/16/2004 21:12:49 by matt flesch-kincaid: 74, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
the fact that this is the section header for espn.com's nhl section:
or that there's a clock counting the hours:

why i hate the yankees (a delightful read - the new york times)

posted 09/12/2004 19:23:08 by matt flesch-kincaid: 53, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
so it's one thing to throw $182 million dollars at the world series (they pay a-rod just slightly less than the entire team of milwauke, actually if you take out one player from milwauke the team salary is right around a-rod's) but then to try and play dirty pool and use bush league antics to further improve your position is just obscene. first the yankees demand that tampa bay be forced to forfeit because they choose to be close to their families during A HURRICANE. "i heard sound bites from the yankees, including gm brian cashman, who said that the devil rays should have departed for new york on friday and should forfeit the game." - joe morgan. they withdrew their request in an attempt to save face when it was clear that mlb wouldn't give them what they wanted. then today they ask for the lights to be turned on during their DAY GAME against the orioles, and then tried to wait for all the lights to warm up and turn on. unfortunately for the yankess in that inning their juvenille attempt to freeze the pitcher failed, and he struck out one looking, one swinging, and one flied out. the ump should be suspended for allowing such a transparent attempt to affect the game occur under his watch.

if this is about you, just pack it in now...

posted 09/10/2004 02:57:56 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
it's just too bad they had to go so slow to make the corner. so as this diagram clearly demonstrates not only does the construction project not affect your view for crossing the road AT ALL, this person was on the opposite side of the street which hasn't been changed at all due to the construction.

highly educated young adults need...crossing guards?!?!?

posted 09/09/2004 18:44:28 by matt flesch-kincaid: 60, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
"...to funnel pedestrians out of harm's way. In the meantime, a flagman engaged by Hopkins perches on the Southeast corner of Charles and 33rd Streets to warn Hopkins of the dangers of the road." so basically after paying $160,000 for a piece of paper we're not qualified to safely cross a road. all i have to say is let natural selection take its course, don't try and fight it.