The Onion has apparently been scooped by Reuters

posted 05/06/2009 10:06:17 by matt flesch-kincaid: 37, grade level: 13 commentscomments(0) linklink
No "Afghanistan's only pig quarantined in flu fear" is not one of those bizarre CNN/Onion cross over headlines. It's actually news, from an actual country, in 2009, though reading the article you might not exactly believe that:
The pig was a gift to the zoo from China, which itself quarantined some 70 Mexicans, 26 Canadians and four Americans in the past week, but later released them.
Yes, that's right, Reuters just correlated Mexicans, Canadians, Americans, and the pig.
One fighter climbed into the lion enclosure but was immediately killed by Marjan, the zoo's most famous inhabitant. The man's brother returned the next day and lobbed a hand grenade at the lion leaving him toothless and blind.
I'm not sure which is better, the natural selection of the lion killing the idiot who climbed in his pen, or the fact that the idiot's brother couldn't kill the lion using a hand grenade... I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.