2. My hero comes along and tries to park next to the car, using one of the two spaces.
3. My hero leaves a note that sounds like it was written by a four year old explaining how they didn't mean to hit the car, but parking in two spots made it hard to avoid
4. Laugh till it hurts
While there's no photographic evidence that someone actually hit the guy's car, we can all hope that someone did, whether it was the person who left the note or not.