Snow Fog?

posted 12/19/2008 13:23:26 by matt flesch-kincaid: 65, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
Just in case you were wondering the only thing worse than "Snow Fog" would seem to be "Snow Freezing Fog"...except maybe for "Fire Fog" and that would be really freaky if it happened when it was snowing.
I think I can hear the horsemen approaching...

Why Honda doesn't need a bailout

posted 11/25/2008 13:51:52 by matt flesch-kincaid: 38, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
Ford, GM and Chrysler are losing money out the nose, while Honda ships empty containers back to Japan. Both losing propositions, so what's the response? United Auto Workers (UAW) has the "big 3" paying ~10,000 auto workers not to work. Honda creates a company to ship soybeans to Japan to make tofu using it's formerly empty containers.
Of all the bizarre subsidiaries that big companies can find themselves with, Harmony Agricultural Products, founded and owned by Honda Motor, is one of the strangest. This small company near Marysville, Ohio produces soybeans for tofu. Soybeans? Honda couldn't brook the sight of the shipping containers that brought parts from Japan to its nearby auto factories returning empty. So Harmony now ships 33,000 pounds of soybeans to Japan. An inveterate tinkerer, Honda also set up a center nearby to develop better soybean varieties and improve agricultural processes.
No wonder the government has to bail out the automakers, there's no way that any American company could come up with an idea like that.

Mandate

posted 11/16/2008 21:19:05 by matt flesch-kincaid: 50, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
Despite what President Shrub has said in the past, -543,816 (yes that's right, remember he lost the Popular Vote in 2000) is not a "Mandate." Nor is the 3,012,499 he beat Kerry by in 2004, especially when you factor in all the disenfranchisement and voter fraud the Republicans took part in. 8,336,437, now that's a freaking "Mandate," Mr. Bush. But I know that you, like Governor Palin, have issues with complicated things like "words," "sentences," and "literacy," so let us demonstrate in pictures for you...

Not a "Mandate"

Not a "Mandate"

This, Mr. Bush, is what those of us who live in "reality" call a "Mandate"

Politics and maps make me laugh

posted 10/31/2008 17:20:16 by matt flesch-kincaid: -47, grade level: 20 commentscomments(0) linklink

Original Source

Maybe this could have been the New Yorker cover for a Stewart/Colbert ticket

posted 10/25/2008 13:45:44 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink

Oh FCC you never fail to amaze me

posted 10/22/2008 10:19:42 by matt flesch-kincaid: 17, grade level: 17 commentscomments(0) linklink
Fast Company's article "Seth MacFarlane’s $2 Billion Family Guy Empire" highlights some interesting subtleties in the FCC rules for indecency:
...Jesus is a recurring character, because FCC rules stipulate you cannot use "Jesus Christ" as an exclamation unless the deity himself is present...
Aside from being out right funny, it explains a couple times where Peter has said things like "Jesus Christ" and then after a pause the camera angle has turned and Jesus has been in the scene.

They're only Economists, what do they know about .... the Economy?

posted 10/20/2008 13:13:53 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink

McCain, Palin 08: A vote for us is a vote for lies, corruption, and the general downfall of America

posted 10/20/2008 08:17:46 by matt flesch-kincaid: 43, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
Keating Economics: John McCain & The Making of a Financial Crisis discusses John McCain's "experience" with enabling big business to rip off the American people. Personally that's not the kind of "experience" I'm looking for in the next President. Make-Believe Maverick is a Rolling Stone piece looking at the public history of McCain, which never seems to be brought up by the "liberal left wing" hate mongering media. Maybe it keeps getting stuck in the "mainstream media filter" Palin always talks about. I wonder if that filter has anything to do with the Tubes?

30 percent of American adults think George Bush is a good President, but apparently they're the smart ones

posted 09/22/2008 17:09:11 by matt flesch-kincaid: 15, grade level: 13 commentscomments(0) linklink
"Among American adults who believe in Creationism or Intelligent Design, 14.6 percent believe the Bible was originally written in English."

New Rules, Free Levi

posted 09/22/2008 11:14:19 by matt flesch-kincaid: 60, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
Bill Maher tells Levi that as America's number one political prisoner he can use the freelevi.org domain to raise funds to get out of Wasilla. I'm still laughing at "you'll end up losing it or shooting it" and "young "Trink" or "Truck" or "Puck" or whatever f*cked up redneck name they give him."

In case of emergency, Geraldo Rivera's mustache is a FAA approved floatation device

posted 09/18/2008 14:48:32 by matt flesch-kincaid: -44, grade level: 21 commentscomments(0) linklink
It's times like this that I start to think there just may be some sort of cosmic entity pulling strings behind the scenes... and it likes to demonstrate it has a wickedly ironic sense of humor...

Google Maps walking directions get less ghetto

posted 09/13/2008 10:15:41 by matt flesch-kincaid: 49, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink

Glad they clarified it was about the sidewalks and not about the mugging or certain death.

I thought I had too much free time...

posted 09/13/2008 10:01:44 by matt flesch-kincaid: 57, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
My complaint to the FCC after prompting from the Parents Television Council. They wanted me to complain about the Today show because they aired a s**t without the bleep. Don't get me wrong, I hate Matt Lauer as much as the next guy, ;) and the Today show has nothing on the CBS Early Show, but come on seriously?

"This is a formal COMPLAINT against everyone else who's submitting you this copy/pasted complaint. These people need to stop trying to control what everyone else is allowed to see on TV and start controlling what they let their own kids watch. Maybe if their kids weren't home schooled they would have been on a bus to school when this horrible word was aired. Maybe kids shouldn't watch the Today show and should be watching cartoons instead. Maybe they should realize their kid has probably heard them say "bad" words more than they've heard them on TV. Either way ignore these idiots, they represent an extremely small, extremely niche, extremely vocal minority. They need to stop worrying about everyone else's lives and start worrying about their own."

"Documentation of the perfectly acceptable material is provided below. Should they have bleeped it? Yes, does every kid already know exactly what someone said when the hear s**t on TV? Yes."

Great moments in billboard history

posted 08/27/2008 08:45:41 by matt flesch-kincaid: 23, grade level: 15 commentscomments(0) linklink
If only Fox News was actually this honest:
But I think the Daily Show definitely nails the Republican National Convention audience with their St. Paul billboard:

What's next Google? Social Strife and Poverty overlays?

posted 08/08/2008 10:59:46 by matt flesch-kincaid: 40, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
So Google has added walking directions to Google Maps, and of course they're in beta:
Wasn't expecting that disclaimer though. So apparently Google's cool with getting you carjacked by not mugged. What's next Google the "% chance of getting capped" overlay layer?

Hey Microsoft, want to know why XP is better than Vista?

posted 07/21/2008 18:06:53 by matt flesch-kincaid: 44, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
Between Features Removed from Windows Vista and Criticism of Windows Vista you've got a pretty good start. Also, Vista has more criticism than God has Wikipedia content. Oh and you may want to hire MacGyver, he's solved a lot of problems in the past

Take 1 New Yorker cover, wash away the satire and you are left with....

posted 07/21/2008 17:59:43 by matt flesch-kincaid: 49, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
Pure, unadulterated, comic genius....


PS: Try as I might to link to my source they make it absurdly difficult, so here's the best I can do.

The iTunes massacre

posted 07/11/2008 18:23:26 by matt flesch-kincaid: 71, grade level: 4 commentscomments(0) linklink

WTF iTunes? Hannibal with no cigar? Why not just make B.A. white while you're at it?

Matt 1, Traffic Violations Bureau 0, Asshat Cop -1

posted 07/10/2008 20:40:15 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
So here's how my visit to court went:
Cop: On Jan. 18th, 2008 at approximately 2:12pm, I was standing on the NE corner of 7th Ave and W 31st St. I observed.... (btw he pulled me over using a car so I guess he runs pretty fast to get in his car)
Cop: I don't have the direction he was traveling written down
Judge: You don't have the direction of travel?
Cop: No, I didn't write down the direction he was traveling.
Judge: So you cannot testify to these offenses?
Cop: No, I cannot.
Judge picks up his not guilty stamp...
Cop to Me: Wear your seat belt.
Me to Cop: I was, SIR.(if you know me you know the disdain that was in my tone while saying this)
Cop to Me: Oh were you? (winks and smiles at me)
Judge: You don't have to make his case for him.
Judge: Step to the side to get your receipt.
Me to Judge: Thank you.

To recap:
Total hours of research I did before court: 6-8
# of Printed pages I took up to the bench: ~20
Total words said by me: 3
Total words said by me that had anything to do with defending myself against the tickets: 0
Total % of my "testimony" on official New York State court transcripts of me being an ass to the jackass cop who pulled me over for no reason and then lied and gave me a ticket for not wearing my seat belt when I was wearing my seat belt: 100%
Not guilty verdicts: 2
Complaints with Internal Affairs filled by me against the Cop: 1 (2 if you count that I sent it by Email and Mail)
Approximate % of words used in my "testimony" compared to my complaint: 3/779 = 0.385%

The Daily News and New York Post are in fact, Tabloids, and might I add, Trash

posted 07/10/2008 20:22:44 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
Finally the mainstream media realizes what we've all known for a long time:

So of 14 Tabloid covers in the Sports Illustrated gallery "A-Rod Strikes Out in Tabloids", 8 are of the Daily News and 6 from the New York Post. Take that National Enquirer! While the fact they cover this at all much less on the front page would clue in most of the world, for some reason people still read them.... Maybe it's cause it's an easy way to avoid eye contact with the guy on the subway who thinks he's an alien.

Wanted: For crimes against brick

posted 06/25/2008 08:56:20 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink

Well played

When food and toys collide

posted 06/20/2008 02:42:13 by matt flesch-kincaid: 39, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
I've often wondered about that whole Play-Doh McDonalds setup...

...but at least Play-Doh seems remotely edible where as Lego blocks seem like a pretty sure trip to the Emergency Room.

I'd pay to see this guy's reaction

posted 05/27/2008 20:17:57 by matt flesch-kincaid: 69, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
1. Idiot parks in two parking spaces
2. My hero comes along and tries to park next to the car, using one of the two spaces.
3. My hero leaves a note that sounds like it was written by a four year old explaining how they didn't mean to hit the car, but parking in two spots made it hard to avoid
4. Laugh till it hurts

While there's no photographic evidence that someone actually hit the guy's car, we can all hope that someone did, whether it was the person who left the note or not.

Javascript performance testing

posted 04/12/2008 13:30:22 by matt flesch-kincaid: 48, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
Dromaeo currently implements a subset of the SunSpider tests with plans to add a complete set of those plus more. Should yield some interesting data over time...
My results from Firefox 3b5, Safari 3.1, IE6 spikes one of my cores and never finishes. Firefox and Safari currently are a dead heat, it will be interesting to see what the Firefox 3.0 final numbers look like.

What a beautiful sound

posted 04/02/2008 18:11:18 by matt flesch-kincaid: -127, grade level: 32 commentscomments(0) linklink

All I can add to that is, "boooooooooooooooooooo"

The joy of staff meetings

posted 03/30/2008 14:23:11 by matt flesch-kincaid: 46, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
I've always found the "weeks since" (serious injury, death, loss of limb) signs at work sites amusing, and I've always wondered if while one guy is calling 911 another guy is running out to change the sign. Apparently the Penny Arcade guys wonder similar things.

Funny, I don't miss the 80s one bit

posted 03/26/2008 09:10:16 by matt flesch-kincaid: 26, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
Two groups that I certainly wouldn't acknowledge membership in: Bad Associations
In case you're not familiar with Mr. Astley's work And of course you can read up on him at Wikipedia.

Without retroactive immunity the terrorists win

posted 02/29/2008 07:33:32 by matt flesch-kincaid: -89, grade level: 25 commentscomments(0) linklink

Apparently being bad at your job isn't enough for people like George Bush

posted 02/29/2008 07:16:19 by matt flesch-kincaid: 54, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink

When the only thing left for you to do to cover-up your overwhelming incompetence, is fear-monger like this, you know the end is near...You know, just like it should have been 6 years ago, when all this lying and law breaking started, and oh right, we impeached Clinton, and that's like a once every 100 years privilege, right?

So hard to tell indeed

posted 02/04/2008 18:24:28 by matt flesch-kincaid: 42, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
one handsome wad of meat I don't care what anyone says, Meatwad is cute in both the digital and real world. Unfortunately my attempts to contact the person who is obviously my soul mate were met with only despair

Baby Instruction Manual

posted 01/24/2008 13:40:33 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink

Finally a portrait of a True American Hero

posted 01/22/2008 09:20:31 by matt flesch-kincaid: 14, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
...Finally, after much "discussion," the director of the National Portrait Gallery finds an appropriate place to hang Colbert's portrait, in between the bathrooms and above the water fountain...
Seems the National Portrait Gallery has a sense of humor

No wonder they don't mind when voting machines can't be trusted

posted 01/03/2008 09:33:18 by matt flesch-kincaid: -136, grade level: 33 commentscomments(0) linklink

Maybe Diebold could build them a better voting machine ;)

Does the internet exist if you're not reading it?

posted 01/03/2008 09:30:38 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink