a rather amusing poster

posted 12/25/2004 16:28:24 by matt flesch-kincaid: 48, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
came across this while browsing around, now i'm wondering how fast the secret service would be on my ass if i started posting them around campus...

hahahahah...

posted 12/13/2004 12:26:07 by matt flesch-kincaid: 55, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink
what a great picture...
tags:

just more reasons to hate the fcc and the human race...

posted 12/06/2004 22:30:54 by matt flesch-kincaid: 45, grade level: 13 commentscomments(0) linklink
so in a recent study, it was found that excluding the complaints about janet jackson during the super bowl, 99.9 percent of indecency complaints lodged with the fcc, some 523k, were submitted by a single group, the parents television council or ptc. it's a sad statement in general that these people have this much time on their hands, but more disturbing is that this tiny minority of people is effectively censoring the rest of us. the fcc is usually only prompted to act by complaints, and thus these crackheads are controlling what the rest of us see.

that's just not right...

posted 11/23/2004 23:50:15 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink

microsoft patents IS NOT operator

posted 11/23/2004 23:46:01 by matt flesch-kincaid: 59, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
from flats: yes, that's right, as of 11/18/2004 millions of programs infringe on a microsoft patent. i give it a month before the patent office is a smoking hole in the ground.

oh canada, part deux + 1...

posted 11/12/2004 13:16:12 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
some good images have come out of all this if nothing else...

oh canada, part deux...

posted 11/11/2004 12:57:20 by matt flesch-kincaid: 38, grade level: 14 commentscomments(0) linklink
so there's a site called virtual canadian which i think is a really great idea, and has the byline of "the united states is just where i happen to live." it lets you virtually register yourself as a canadian, and has t-shirts and mugs, as well as a link for those serious about moving to canada.

ooooohhhhh canada

posted 11/06/2004 15:12:17 by matt flesch-kincaid: 45, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
apparently i'm not the only one considering a short hop across the border. "The number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada's main immigration Web site has shot up six-fold as Americans flirt with the idea of abandoning their homeland after President George W. Bush's election win this week."

republican's how to on oppressing blacks getting bush elected...

posted 10/27/2004 14:21:24 by matt flesch-kincaid: 3, grade level: 23 commentscomments(0) linklink
as the new york times reports: "Acorn, a nonprofit group that conducted voter registration in poor neighborhoods, asserts that 46 percent of the Republican challenges in Cuyahoga County, which includes Cleveland, were against black people, who represent only 27 percent of the county's population."

wal-mart now selling dead hawaiians...at low low prices

posted 10/25/2004 20:08:41 by matt flesch-kincaid: 24, grade level: 17 commentscomments(0) linklink
wal-mart decided that it would continue building the largest wal-mart in the world in hawaii even after unearthing 44 sets of ancient hawaiian remains at the site.
"a wal-mart store manager said, the store offers 'quality merchandise, low prices, and wal-mart's spirit of aloha.' aloha of course a hawaiian word meaning : hello, goodbye, and f*ck you and your dead ancestors" -jon stewart

i need to watch more tv...

posted 10/20/2004 00:47:34 by matt flesch-kincaid: 66, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink
bri sent me this, god bud's marketing is killer, it almost made me want to drink beer....almost:
Real Men of Genius:
Today we salute you, Mr. Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold, back of the neck. Sure, your Pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not to the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar.
Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world where its okay for a man to go tanning. You ask "why can't we wear make-up, and use shampoo with lavender essence?" (Where is my lipstick?)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one... in your man purse.

dear senator dayton,

posted 10/14/2004 12:27:14 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
"I have been reading about your decision to close your D.C. office till after the election. I just wanted to congratulate you on finally finding an effective way to combat terrorism. I too have seen ostriches sticking their head in the sand as a way to hide from problems, and I think it's wonderful that you've applied this to the terrorist problem. I plan to join you in your fight, by hiding under my bed until after the election. I understand that you're not in session till after the election, and that you say you're acting to ensure the safety of your office employees, but you're sending the completely wrong message. Maybe you should try sending the right message, by manning your D.C. office through election day by yourself, to show the terrorists that we won't roll over and hide under the bed." you too can tell him how you feel about his plans to fight terror. if you do send him something, post it in the comments.

politicos

posted 10/12/2004 22:35:26 by matt flesch-kincaid: 53, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so there's this genius senator, who has decided to closed his d.c. office till after the election because of the terrorist threat. it's good to see we've perfected the stick your head in the sand defense. in other news, bush has managed to sink even lower into the mudslinging as the sinclair broadcasting group, announces that they are forcing their tv stations to air an anti-kerry movie, without commercials, a mere 2 weeks before the election. oh and by the way, sinclair is the same company that refused to let it's stations air the nightline where the names of all the soldiers killed in iraq were announced. you can go here to complain to the fcc about sinclair's actions. i guess there's one upside to this: he's afraid, very afraid.

hard time?

posted 10/11/2004 12:26:16 by matt flesch-kincaid: 56, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
so as you all know, martha stewart will be serving 5 months in prison for her part in an insider trading debacle. also this week, jamal lewis plead out on a charge that he facilitated a cocaine deal via cell phone with a government informant, and as part of the deal, he will serve 4 months in prison. oh, and a little footnote on the deal, that's 4 months in the offseason, cause you know, we wouldn't want to inconvience the sports superstar any more than we already have will enforcing federal drug statutes. now i'm not sure exactly how much cocaine jamal lewis was brokering a deal for, but through extensive research i'm going to assume it had a street value of approx. a "shitload." martha stewart, on the other hand, just acted to keep herself from losing money, and that's not to say she did nothing wrong. i mean for all i know martha could be packing heat, blasting caps in those frontin' martha wanna-be's, but you'd think that would make the news. so kids, the moral of the story is "sell drugs, not stocks."

i'm certainly not a stoner, and i resent be called a slacker...

posted 09/28/2004 20:31:39 by matt flesch-kincaid: 58, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
it's king of the slackers to you damn it! bill o'reilly, fox news' resident conservative, said to jon stewart when talking about the daily show, "you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote."(transcript) i hate to break it to you billy boy, but jon stewart has contributed more to the field of journalism than you ever will. let's recap shall we, the daily show has won 7 emmys in the past 3 years, and you billy boy, oh right there was some back when you were a really reporter like 10-15 years ago, but that was just 2, so you're like 5 behind the daily show, and you've had like 20 years, and it took them, well, 3. you just keep striving there billy, as long as fox news continues it's tradition of fair, balanced, and horribly right slanted news coverage you're assured of having a job. and if that ever falls through, you could probably make money by letting people bet on how far you can get your head up your ass. hopefully the whole republican party is writing off all 18-25 year olds as stoner slackers, cause that'll give em a hell of a suprise come november.

go packers...

posted 09/28/2004 20:12:20 by matt flesch-kincaid: 48, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
From Joe: The outcome of the Washington Redskins' last home game before the election has been a flawless indicator of who would win the presidential race. For the past 15 elections, if the Redskins won so did the incumbent party. True to form, in 2000 the Tennessee Titans beat the Redskins 27-21 and, lo and behold, Bush won. The last Redskins home game before November 2nd is against the Green Bay Packers"

election time, when the bs grows more transparent by the day

posted 09/24/2004 15:06:30 by matt flesch-kincaid: 45, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
so there's this certifiably insane guy named alan keyes who was recruited by the republicans to move from maryland to illinois to take on obama. he recently started venting about how polls are horrible and should be banned before elections. i wonder if he had read the most recent poll before starting this rant, you know the one that placed him at a 40% disadvantage to his opponent, 68% to 23% in the senate race. in a way i'm glad keyes is running, as crazy people make for good tv. it's just too bad that new yorkers were too dumb to see the whole "carpetbagger" thing when hillary cruised into town a few months before election time.

florida as a smoking hole in the ground...

posted 09/24/2004 10:16:05 by matt flesch-kincaid: 59, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so three hurricanes in 5 or 6 weeks + a map of the 2000 election = fun. this is rather interesting even without the whole god spin that gets put on it. animals can sense fear, maybe hurricanes can sense stupidity, then again, they haven't found him here yet, have they?

you know you're up too late when...

posted 09/17/2004 01:26:47 by matt flesch-kincaid: 63, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
the ad for this piece of shit comes on the tv... and just in case you aren't sold immediately, you can get a limited edition glossy photo of regis. and in case you're in need of a regis singing fix RIGHT NOW, rush shipping is available...cause why would you want to wait to wait to be driven to the brink of insanity.

i'm not sure which is more depressing

posted 09/16/2004 21:12:49 by matt flesch-kincaid: 74, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
the fact that this is the section header for espn.com's nhl section:
or that there's a clock counting the hours:

why i hate the yankees (a delightful read - the new york times)

posted 09/12/2004 19:23:08 by matt flesch-kincaid: 53, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
so it's one thing to throw $182 million dollars at the world series (they pay a-rod just slightly less than the entire team of milwauke, actually if you take out one player from milwauke the team salary is right around a-rod's) but then to try and play dirty pool and use bush league antics to further improve your position is just obscene. first the yankees demand that tampa bay be forced to forfeit because they choose to be close to their families during A HURRICANE. "i heard sound bites from the yankees, including gm brian cashman, who said that the devil rays should have departed for new york on friday and should forfeit the game." - joe morgan. they withdrew their request in an attempt to save face when it was clear that mlb wouldn't give them what they wanted. then today they ask for the lights to be turned on during their DAY GAME against the orioles, and then tried to wait for all the lights to warm up and turn on. unfortunately for the yankess in that inning their juvenille attempt to freeze the pitcher failed, and he struck out one looking, one swinging, and one flied out. the ump should be suspended for allowing such a transparent attempt to affect the game occur under his watch.
tags:

if this is about you, just pack it in now...

posted 09/10/2004 02:57:56 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
it's just too bad they had to go so slow to make the corner. so as this diagram clearly demonstrates not only does the construction project not affect your view for crossing the road AT ALL, this person was on the opposite side of the street which hasn't been changed at all due to the construction.

highly educated young adults need...crossing guards?!?!?

posted 09/09/2004 18:44:28 by matt flesch-kincaid: 60, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
"...to funnel pedestrians out of harm's way. In the meantime, a flagman engaged by Hopkins perches on the Southeast corner of Charles and 33rd Streets to warn Hopkins of the dangers of the road." so basically after paying $160,000 for a piece of paper we're not qualified to safely cross a road. all i have to say is let natural selection take its course, don't try and fight it.

remember when the fact you went to college meant you had some amount of intelligence?

posted 08/30/2004 11:46:15 by matt flesch-kincaid: 63, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
yeah, me either. these students are pushing for, no, demanding that they are allowed to register to vote in their college town. "Young Han tried to register to vote in the New York town where he attends college but got a letter telling him to cast an absentee ballot where his parents live, more than 2,000 miles away." yeah cause it takes a greater effort on your part for that ballot to move those extra 1,999 miles. charge me 32 cents to vote? oh god i'm disenfranchised, call the aclu, call someone, please help me. can someone explain to me how this is news? you don't have a perminant address there, so why should you be allowed to register? does your car have plates from that state, no, drivers license in that state, oh wait no to that to? you people are mentally deficient, and you need some classes in common f-ing sense, either that or a class in getting hit in the face with bat, your choice. wait, even better, why don't you vote on it...

so lets recap...

posted 08/20/2004 01:46:18 by matt flesch-kincaid: 63, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
you try to blow up a plane by lighting explosives in your shoes...and then you feel you have the right to complain about the prision conditions where you're being held...for trying to blow up a freaking plane. i appoligize for not giving a shit, maybe they should have just shoved that shoe up your ass and lit it correctly.

tycoon kidnap plot...wait, wait, wait, weichert is a tycoon?

posted 08/18/2004 14:37:07 by matt flesch-kincaid: 56, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
don't you have to own a railroad to be a tycoon, i would think mogul would be a little more fitting, but then again i'm not qualified to write for the bastion of news integrity that is the new york post...so here's the ny post's take on the events and here's everyone else. i think it's highly amusing that i know the richest person someone can think of.

my rise to power in nj...or i'm not a gay american

posted 08/12/2004 23:09:35 by matt flesch-kincaid: 82, grade level: 2 commentscomments(0) linklink
so now that this guy is out of the way, i think i'm about 3 steps down the totem pole from taking over nj, so here's my plans:
1) all starbucks will also have a quiznos, and all quiznos will also have a starbucks
2) the daily show will be the only news channel allowed to broadcast in the state
3) i will tarnish my reputation and fall from grace so spectacularly that not even my announcing that i'm gay could cover it up

good to see his written language is on the level of his speaking

posted 08/05/2004 23:25:20 by matt flesch-kincaid: 66, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
'(full name) do herby (sic) endorse george w. bush for reelection of the united states.' that's what people had to sign to see cheaney speak, although i think i'd have signed it just to see the grammatical gems he was gonna drop in the speech.

election 2004

posted 07/29/2004 00:10:57 by matt flesch-kincaid: 84, grade level: 1 commentscomments(0) linklink
the way i see it there's two choices really, it's either:
or the dirty white boy:
no no no, not that dirty white boy, this dirty white boy:

politics update...

posted 07/28/2004 21:14:36 by matt flesch-kincaid: 55, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so we've got a 12 year old boy, er um....girl, or is it, no i guess it's a girl, yes the article calls her a girl
...who spoke at the DNC, telling Cheney that he should be put in time out for swearing. if i knew any idiot could make a speach i would have signed up. other highlights include sen. graham challenging kucinich by saying "hey you wanna go?"
to which kucinich replied "any time, anywhere motherf*cker!"
and a riot was only narrowly averted when al sharpton reminded all the delegates to bow before him in his ultimate power
also a town in colorado elected a donkey mayor, and what's even better, he was the incumbient...all other cities can cease trying to woo me, i've decided where i am to spend the remander of my days...

100% of your daily dose of irony

posted 07/22/2004 19:42:59 by matt flesch-kincaid: 48, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
TULSA - Blake Champlin, a Tulsa lawyer and environmental activist, died Monday at his home when a tree supporting a hammock fell and crushed him. if finding this funny is wrong, i don't wanna be right.

oh man, this is just priceless

posted 07/22/2004 19:40:25 by matt flesch-kincaid: 121, grade level: -3 commentscomments(0) linklink
tags:

they say a picture is worth a thousand words

posted 07/13/2004 01:29:49 by matt flesch-kincaid: 77, grade level: 2 commentscomments(0) linklink
so here is 1000 words to serve as further evidence that the post is an upstanding publisher of all that is good and true:
and then there's gmail invites (this is only funny if you're a geek, and therefore understand that i sent a gmail invite to his gmail account):

movie industry's pain...

posted 07/06/2004 22:36:51 by matt flesch-kincaid: 46, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
so the movie industry illustrated the horrible impact that file sharing networks have had on the industry. by announcing that they broke the 1 billion dollar mark for the first time ever in june, the debilitating affects of file sharing should be plainly evident. topping out at $1.03 billion, up 14% from june 2003, i'd like to see what they use to justify attacking file sharers now, cause they're reduced sales argument just went down the toilet.

t-shirt funnies...

posted 06/24/2004 00:03:27 by matt flesch-kincaid: 53, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
t-shirt hell has some really funny shirts, including, i bet you'll vote this time hippy, east coast lawnmowers, yes, i have pleanty of change you homeless piece of shit. thanks for asking, if you're close enough to read this...you now have sars

fancy toliet you've got there...

posted 06/22/2004 12:37:22 by matt flesch-kincaid: 55, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
so this toliet has one way glass, so you can watch everyone walk by on the street while you're doing your business. i'm not sure which is funnier, the idea of one way glass for a toliet, or the fact that there's a tissue box on the top of the toliet....silly europeans.

gmail

posted 06/21/2004 17:24:56 by matt flesch-kincaid: 60, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so i got a gmail invite the other day and signed up for an account. i guess i really only see it being useful as a giant file store. i mean come on, i could upload a divx of the goonies and still have 300 some meg left. i do like that the interface is really, really clean, (what else would you expect from google?) without all the cruft that hotmail and all those other web-mail folks throw on.
btw, if you want an invite, leave a comment(link below) with at least some sort of valid identifier, a user name i would recognize, your info in the post, etc., and i'll send you an invite once i get my first batch.

so syria's a real country...really???

posted 06/20/2004 11:49:45 by matt flesch-kincaid: 41, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
syria has annouced that they plan to pass a bill known as the "america accountability act" in response to the us passing the "syria accountability act" which banned all us exports to syria except food and medicine, which the us enacted due to syrian support of terrorism. the syrian act bans all imports from the united states because we're a horrible evil country....blah blah blah. oh wait syria, news flash, not only could 9 out of 10 americans not place you on a map, but we already stopped sending you anything. so you've effectively restricted nothing. you've decided you will stop importing everything that we're already not sending you. way to save face guys....

michael newdow you are the weakest link....goodbye

posted 06/14/2004 20:48:45 by matt flesch-kincaid: 60, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
the supreme court has ruled that since newdow doesn't have custody of his daughter, he cannot sue for her. so mr. newdown, maybe you should stop pushing your agenda onto your daughter and start getting your shit together to be a real parent. i hope if he ever brings this case again they take his daughter into another room and find out from her that she couldn't give a rats ass whether her schoolmates recite the pledge or not.

these things shouldn't suprise me anymore

posted 06/10/2004 02:01:37 by matt flesch-kincaid: 52, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
the fact that this exists already is awesome...gmail isn't even public yet and a site to get people good email addresses on gmail already exists. this is even better than people selling sims characters on e-bay.

finally...

posted 06/08/2004 12:59:03 by matt flesch-kincaid: 4, grade level: 14 commentscomments(0) linklink
they finally have a lead in chris elser's murder, i hope this is the guy and that they spare no expense in bring the electric chair out of retirement for him
tags:

i hate hockey.......refs

posted 06/07/2004 22:59:34 by matt flesch-kincaid: 74, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
so the refs gave tampa bay 2 of the 4 games they won in the series. you can't call penalties just because it's a good player who gets hit. how bad could either of the hits have been when the player who got hit was on the ice to begin the power play? espescially after the first time, a) why in the world would the same ref be in this game? and b) why the hell would he make another shitty questionable call to hand tampa bay the game. in my book tampa still hasn't won a stanley cup. me and that thing barry melrose calls hair are moving to canada together.

verizon thinks you're mentally challenged

posted 06/07/2004 22:57:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 68, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so i installed verizon dsl for the second time today, this time at home. all i have to say is, the installer's first question should be, are you now or have you ever been retarted? If you say no, it should just skip to the part where it sets up your account. If you say yes, well i don't care what it does, but just don't make me sit through you telling me about a wall jack filter when i had all the filters installed last week.
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if only i could sport the zoot suit...

posted 04/30/2004 23:03:04 by matt flesch-kincaid: 61, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so i think barry melrose is trying to hypnotize people with those crazy stripes on the suits he wears on tv. can't someone at espn tell him he looks like a tv test pattern with some sort of woodland creature on top.
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just when you though baywatch was the peak of his career

posted 04/30/2004 16:38:59 by matt flesch-kincaid: -8, grade level: 16 commentscomments(0) linklink
very,very disturbing...ice t to produce david hasselholf rap record
tags:

death by caffeine

posted 04/30/2004 16:38:17 by matt flesch-kincaid: 50, grade level: 9 commentscomments(0) linklink
so just in case you're worried about your caffeine intake hurting you, here's a page that tells you exactly how many cans/bottles/etc. of different drinks it would take to build up a toxic level of caffeine in your body, based on your weight. pretty cool. also there's some cool futurama images on the same site.
tags:

new hosting...

posted 04/30/2004 16:37:42 by matt flesch-kincaid: 63, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
so the domain name has changed, i may point mattdragon.com here eventually too. this site is hosted at 1 & 1 which has some great deals on linux hosting. it's not so much that i hate microsoft as that having mysql as opposed to access as a prospective backend isn't much of a choice, oh and php is pretty cool too.
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i admit it, i stalk andrew bruck...

posted 04/14/2004 07:32:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 68, grade level: 5 commentscomments(0) linklink
or at least i stalk his aim profile. so this is stolen yet again from bruck's profile. the daily record talks about the sopranos season, and includes this quote, "Apparently Delbarton School is giving Anthony Jr. some trouble, too. A.J. and his football team just can't beat the Green Wave, something a lot of New Jersey teams can relate to." yeah that's right, even mob connections can't help you there.
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so here's my wednesday...

posted 04/12/2004 11:23:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 62, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
so last sunday, there's a car accident in front of my apartment that knocks down two light poles. parts of one of these light poles end up scattered all across the street, including in front of my apartment.
so last wednesday around 1pm i leave my apartment and notice on the curb the transformer from the light post, a small metal box with wires running in and out of it. as i get across the street i think to myself, "if i didn't know that was a transformer, i might think it was a bomb." so later that night, claire and i leave my apartment, and there's cops everywhere, with the street closed, police taped off, cars being detoured, etc. a cop comes over to us and says we can't be here, "the area is closed off." so we walk around and stand and watch as the bomb squad truck drives off. so the next day in the paper, that article is there, and i go, holy shit, that was totally the box i saw.
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sometimes even i can't come up with titles...

posted 04/02/2004 04:14:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 76, grade level: 3 commentscomments(0) linklink
or is it terrorism?
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why i hate people...

posted 04/02/2004 04:12:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 58, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
so say your a mother of three, sitting in your living room and your kid picks up a toy spear that odds say you bought him and you decide god is telling you to kill your children, i would say that you deserve to have your head beaten in with a rock, just like you did to them...but before we jump to conclusions, lets hear it from the source: a housewife said the first sign that god wanted her to kill her three boys came mother's day weekend when she saw her 14-month-old playing with a toy spear. deanna laney said she resisted at first, but the signs kept coming. the baby came to her with a rock, and later in the day squeezed a frog, and she believed god was suggesting that she should either stab, stone or strangle her children. ok so now i've seen kids smashing toy cars together, does that mean god wants them to be in a car accident, how about when kids play with toy guns? obviously god wants you to pop a cap in those little bitches. of course when your playing a game of other-worldly telephone with the big guy upstairs it might pay to ask for a second opinion, before you smash your kids skulls in with a rock.
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undead got you down?

posted 04/02/2004 04:12:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 78, grade level: 5 commentscomments(0) linklink
just burn their hearts...ah you silly romanians, and btw, shouldn't knight ridder news be written by kit, or at the very least michael knight?
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news flash...

posted 04/01/2004 04:32:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 56, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
fez = cool ...
and in other news... google has opened up applications for jobs on the moon; thinkgeek is selling an ez-bake oven that fits in a drive bay, makes me sad that i have a laptop; they also have caffine patches...thank you god my prayers have been answered, although it really can't beat caffenated meatloaf.
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cars in california should run on idiots...

posted 03/25/2004 12:49:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 63, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
cause they seem to be an in-exhaustible resource there. this guy is suing google for what he found when he search on his name. of course his google results are now hopelessly polluted for the rest of eternity, so let's just hope that's what he was going for. let's pollute a little further mark maughan you are an idiot. then there's this guy who is an atheist, claims that even the now voluntary pledge of allegiance in schools hurts his child as it, "...violates the 10-year-old child's religious liberty". he goes on to claim "i have the right to be able to have my child in public school without her being indoctrinated with religious belief..." i think he forgot to add "because i wouldn't want anyone to allow my child to question the beliefs i have forced on her." michael newdow you are also an idiot. maybe if you just let your daughter think for herself instead of trying to cram your beliefs into her head, we could all get on with our lives. now i just sit back and wait for the googlebot to do its work.
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finally some sense in the world

posted 03/23/2004 05:00:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 44, grade level: 12 commentscomments(0) linklink
the prosecutor in cincinati announced that the police officers involved in a fight with 350 pound man, hopped up on pcp, embalming fluid, and cocaine, would not be charged with anything. the coroner ruled that an irregular heart beat brought on by the struggle that ensued after jones attacked the police officers killed him... not that the 350 pounds or the drug cabinet running through his veins would have hurt. of course there's sure to be a civil suit, because stupid people always sue. at least for once though the message has gone out, don't attack police officers, especially when your increadably obease and on enough drugs to get a small mid-western town high.
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al qaeda 1, spain 0

posted 03/21/2004 09:11:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 49, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
way to go spain...terrorists bomb trains to get spanish people to vote without thinking, spainish people vote without thinking, terrorists continue to bomb spain as they please...problem solved.
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t.o. at the back of the bus, and alligators on the bus

posted 03/10/2004 07:13:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 58, grade level: 8 commentscomments(0) linklink
so terrell owens has compared himself to rosa parks saying, "(You) just can't settle for whatever. Rosa Parks didn't!". so i see the similarities, i mean taking a stand in the racially charged 60s against racism, skiping your team physical and risking a million dollar contract, oh yeah, i'm sure ms. parks has your back t.o. btw, check out his website and tell me he doesn't have the biggest ego in sports history. now i thought i'd had some cool bus drivers in my day, but this takes the cake... this bus driver let 11 kids off the bus to catch a 4 foot alligator, and then let them take it home on the bus. the alligator was not an easy catch, the students had to use some quality swamp engineering: "Four boys ran off the bus, found the alligator hiding in a hole and used sticks to prod the animal out". now wait, you're a four foot long alligator and you let some sticks bother you? what the hell kind of wussy alligators are being raised now-a-days anyway.
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who's dumber at walmart, the workers or the shoppers?

posted 03/10/2004 07:12:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 70, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink
this question has finally been answered once and for all... a woman shopping at walmart tried to use a 1 million dollar bill to buy $1,675 worth of stuff. when the cashier refused the bill, the woman tried to use two gift cards with a total of $2.32 on them. when that didn't work either the woman tried what i like to call a little ingenuity....she tried the fake bill again. the cashier was still wise to her tricky ways however, and called the police.
now i have several issues with this, a) what the hell can you get at walmart to rack up that much of a bill, human slaves or something? b) do you really expect walmart to have $998,325 worth of change? and c) do you really want a walmart employee to try to count that high?
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tv oops...

posted 03/05/2004 06:52:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 43, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
so a tv channel in nc made a web application to allow quick posting of business and school closings due to snow. however, they forgot to secure it correctly leading to some rather interesting announcments...(1, 2, 3)
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we need more of this...

posted 03/05/2004 02:33:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 56, grade level: 7 commentscomments(0) linklink
killington vermont has voted to secede from the state of vermont and become part of new hampshire. new hampshire is way cooler anyway...put that in your pipe and smoke it, vermont.
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microsoft appeals to new markets...

posted 03/05/2004 01:14:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 87, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink
pick this and that snoop dogg duck up and you'll be well on your way to being the most hardcore rapper on the west coast.
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greatest bathtoy ever...

posted 02/25/2004 07:37:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 74, grade level: 6 commentscomments(0) linklink
this is by far the coolest thing i have ever seen. you should get one of these when you're born, so that by the time you stop taking baths you and mr. t are "tight" just like everyone and mr. t should be. i can't think of a better person to combine with a duck and put in my bathtub, except maybe snoop dogg, who lets me combine my west coast style with my east coast sensibilities, or maybe moses, which is just weird. btw, mr. t's real name is Lawrence Tureaud, i would have changed it too...
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your life may suck...

posted 02/12/2004 02:01:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 46, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
but you're still not that bad off, because you're not a) barbie and ken's "business manager" or b) anyone associated with news orginizations in any way shape or form. a) cnn reports that barbie and ken are breaking up, now that might not seem so bad, but russell arons their "business manager" repeatedly refers to the dolls like they are actual people. "Arons hinted Wednesday that the separation may be partially due to Ken's reluctance to getting married." somebody needs to get their head examined...with a bat. b) two cnn headline stories today are that one and one about hilliary clinton being named to a "tough guys" list. you should forget about the war, primaries, and mars, because cnn sure has.
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the sweet sound of silence...just 99 cents

posted 02/05/2004 04:58:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 50, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
itunes apparently has several tracks available for download that are nothing but silence. now for the fun part, not only do the tracks cost the regular 99 cents, but they even have the free previews associated with them. it'd be fun to know how many of these have sold. there's some funny quotes like "For those looking for the best value, Schaeffer offers nearly two minutes of silence, almost twice as much as any of the other tracks."
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bruck's profile regularly comical...

posted 01/07/2004 02:39:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 32, grade level: 10 commentscomments(0) linklink
so apparently i find bruck's profile funny on a regular basis...who knew?
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why are stupid people published instead of beaten regularly?

posted 01/03/2004 11:16:00 by matt flesch-kincaid: 47, grade level: 11 commentscomments(0) linklink
so imagine a world were you're stupid, know nothing about which you write, and wait for it.... you're published in the newspaper that might as well be sold as a tabliod. actually i take pride in the fact that trash like this isn't written in a real paper. i take solice in the fact that the 3 people who read the post are already so mentally belabored solely by the act reading that they can't possibly process the information they are taking in. Maybe instead of attacking video games people should concentrate on raising their children. i played pleanty of violent video games and the only time i get the urge to kill is when stupid people bitch about things they don't understand, and i can't remember that scenario from any video game i've ever played. people are so so stupid.
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