At least Dilbert still has hope
Natural selection always seems to catch up with the human race
Bill McCreary is an idiot
Both teams in this year’s Stanley Cup final played so skillfully and cleanly that the referees “didn’t have to get involved a lot,” Bill McCreary, the veteran referee who worked Game 7 and three other games of the series, said Tuesday.It's true, they didn't interfere with the players, they just let the players interfere with each other to the level that approaches inappropriate amounts of touching in several of the more conservative states in the Union. However, I agree 100%, Henrik Zetterburg is a very skilled
“We didn’t interfere with the players,” McCreary said.
I know that he probably had orders from on high to call the games differently, but if it's your last Finals you owe it to yourself to call it by the book, it's not like there can be any blow back. At the very least don't come out afterward and continue to be the league mouthpiece. Can the refs get fined for criticizing the officiating? When the coaches do it they can be fined seemingly any amount, though $10,000 seems a popular number. Yet when a player gets fined for something that was illegal on the ice but short of a suspension their fine is capped at $2,500. Way to go NHL, you fine the coaches more for saying what everyone is already thinking, than you do the players for breaking the rules in such a blatant and dangerous fashion that a penalty alone is not enough punishment. Mr. Bettman has obviously never heard this quote before, so I'll present it to him here:
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. - Friedrich NietzscheEvery time a player or coach criticizes the officials the NHL should donate $100 of it's money to a charity of the officials choosing. The number of complaints about the officiating should be tracked as an official statistic by the league, and the leader at the end of the year should be given the "Matt Dragon Award" represented by a giant middle finger attached to an arm wearing an orange arm band:
The most criticized official would win the "Bill McCreary Award" which would just be a giant mustache also wearing an orange arm band:
Little known NHL rules
Rule 88. Henrik Zetterberg is allowed to freeze the puck in the crease whenever he wants to.
Just to make this as clear as possible, they also rewrote Rule 67.4:
Penalty Shot - If a player except Henrik Zetterberg, and except a goalkeeper, while play is in progress, falls on the puck, holds the puck, picks up the puck, or gathers the puck into his body or hands from the ice in the goal crease area, the play shall be stopped immediately and a penalty shot shall be awarded to the non-offending team.
Rule 89. When the Detroit Red Wings have an empty net and an opposing player has a clear cut break away and is fouled, there is no automatic goal, because we love the Red Wings, they're so dreamy
Again, just to remove any ambiguity they rewrote Rule 57.4:
Awarded Goal - If, when the opposing goalkeeper, except if he plays for the Red Wings, has been removed from the ice, a player in control of the puck in the neutral or attacking zone is tripped or otherwise fouled with no opposition between him and the opposing goal, thus preventing a reasonable scoring opportunity, the Referee shall immediately stop play and award a goal to the attacking team.
And before all the Detroit fans' heads explode: Yes, the Penguins had too many men on the ice. Yes, it went uncalled. No it does not even begin to compare with the at least 100 uncalled interfereance penalties the Red Wings have gotten away with. No it does not even remotely cancel out the fact that almost every goal in Games 1,2 and 3 went in due to pure dumb luck or because of an uncalled penalty. Yes it's not fair that the refs don't call blatant, incredibly obvious penalties that any idiot with a working set of eyes could clearly see. Welcome to my fucking world, grab a seat it's gonna be a long series for you guys.
The Economics of Broadcasting Stanley Cup Games
I'd like to know if any of you would setup up and take credit for the decision to ban the Penguins from showing the NBC feed for the Stanley Cup Final games. I really can't understand why any company which exists to make money would possibly want to limit the audience that it's commercials reach. Even if you ignore all of the negative PR, which given the size of the uproar and the ferocity with with you are being vilified is pretty hard to ignore, why would you not want fans to be able to enjoy the game together in a more energetic atmosphere? Even if only a single person in Pittsburgh walked past the Igloo and saw one second of one of your commercials, they might buy the product they saw advertised. Would you decide to broadcast dead air instead of commercials? I mean funny looking hats before horses running in a circle is pretty close to dead air I suppose...
I really don't understand why you would agree to broadcast the NHL and then treat the fans like garbage. Two years ago when you cut away from SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME in an Eastern Conference SERIES CLINCHING game to show the 2 hour PRE-RACE coverage of the Kentucky Derby, it was an awful, awful decision, yet at least that probably makes financial sense given the relative popularity of horses running in a circle and funny hats. SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME in a SERIES CLINCHING GAME, and you picked STUPID HATS and probably made millions of dollars in the process. I just can't fathom how getting thousands of people angry at you could possibly benefit you, your brand, or the brands who buy your commercial time. Hockey fans everywhere are left wondering what ridiculous stunt you're going to pull next when their team's game on the line. You have just as much vested interest in the NHL on NBC getting good ratings, why wouldn't you welcome any and all who wanted to partake? Maybe if you got the NHL to make the players wear stupid hats....
Matt Dragon
In case you want to contribute to letting NBC think that they might possibly be the worst thing that has ever happened to the game of hockey, you too can be email these folks: nbcsports@nbcuni.com; brian.walker@nbcuni.com; adam.freifeld@nbcuni.com; Mike.McCarley@nbcuni.com; Lyndsay.iorio@nbcuni.com; Dick.Ebersol@nbcuni.com
The Onion has apparently been scooped by Reuters
The pig was a gift to the zoo from China, which itself quarantined some 70 Mexicans, 26 Canadians and four Americans in the past week, but later released them.Yes, that's right, Reuters just correlated Mexicans, Canadians, Americans, and the pig.
One fighter climbed into the lion enclosure but was immediately killed by Marjan, the zoo's most famous inhabitant. The man's brother returned the next day and lobbed a hand grenade at the lion leaving him toothless and blind.I'm not sure which is better, the natural selection of the lion killing the idiot who climbed in his pen, or the fact that the idiot's brother couldn't kill the lion using a hand grenade... I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Something tells me that Bush wouldn't be able to tell you who was on first either
"Kofi Annan?"
"No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap."
Yes, someone must have actually done this before
Due to plumbing work there will be no hot/cold water from ...So far nothing out of the ordinary and then we get to the fun part
Please make sure that all faucets are in the closed position to avoid any flooding when the water is turned back on.What? Seriously?!? Do you understand what got that second paragraph to show up on the sign? Someone, maybe not in my building, but in some building managed by the same company, somewhere, had to have caused a flood. Someone, somewhere left their sink or their tub or their shower or whatever on, despite the fact there was no water coming out and then left their apartment, took a nap, whatever. And as a result of this, they flooded their apartment and/or other apartments when the water was turned back on.
This is the kind of warning that no one thinks to give until someone has proven themselves stupid enough to require the extra heads up. Being in a position where I've had to give these types of technology related warnings all the time, it cracks me up to see them manifesting themselves in the physical world as well.
George Bush will be judged by history
Reply to All added to Axis of Evil
Microsoft announced improvements to Outlook to help support the new mandate: Of course if you answer "No" a message box pops up informing you "It's OK we've been watching everything you do on the Internet anyway."
Sometimes it boggles my mind that there's no "drivers license" test to get on the internet. When I get an ill-addressed email followed by a ton of geniuses replying to all tends to be one of those times.